i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am spending my child support on dildos
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just googled if crying burns calories
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
