Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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