I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
