ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
God I need to hump something, right now.
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