Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
