I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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