you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
