Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
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I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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