Just cropdusted the office
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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