i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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