Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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