dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
