you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
