I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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