the day after is always just damage control
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
