O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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