It's Friday. Sex?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
