no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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