Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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