Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
