Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
