I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
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I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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