at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
