I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
