I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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