come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize