I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
