Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
