OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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