she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it because I queefed?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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