Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
