my sisters under your porch take her home
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
