D3 body, D1 cock
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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