Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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