ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
