Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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