Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This is my gift to your gina
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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