all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
