I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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