You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
third nipple confirmed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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