I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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