Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
