I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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