I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
