Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
