i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
