I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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