I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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