sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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