She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
