he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize