Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
