Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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