dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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