We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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