i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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