at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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