2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
