If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
