is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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