Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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