I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
