I cannot find my penis.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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