Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
